I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on TV by Maz Jobrani

Author:Maz Jobrani
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Maybe I Am a Terrorist

Doubts about my own innocence were innate by early 2009, when I landed in Denver to do some shows at the Denver Improv. I had not been following the news that day. A white guy from the club picked me up and immediately asked me what I thought about the arrest of Zazi, the terror suspect. I had no idea what he was talking about. He figured since I was of Middle Eastern descent, I would have an inside track. (I get these types of questions often: “What do you think of the recent hike in gas prices?” “Why are your people so pissed off?” “When is the next terrorist hit going down?”)

I learned that the man’s full name was Najibullah Zazi and that he had been a Denver cab driver accused of planning suicide bombings in New York City subways. I didn’t think much of the case, but it was a bit suspicious that this guy had been arrested the same day I arrived in Denver.

A few months later I was in Austin, Texas, doing a show and I had to drive to Houston in the morning. When I woke up, I turned on CNN to find a report about a guy flying his plane into the IRS building in Austin. I couldn’t believe it. What were the chances that I would be in Austin the same day there was a terrorist attack in that city? I watched and prayed that it wouldn’t be a Middle Easterner, and to my relief it turned out to be a disgruntled white guy. But then again, I’m Iranian. Iranians are white. Hmmm . . . Once again, I was beginning to suspect I was up to no good.

Soon after I was at Los Angeles International Airport flying to Philadelphia to perform when I saw a headline in the newspaper about a lady named Jihad Jane. She had been arrested for trying to recruit al-Qaeda operatives out of her home in, where else, Philadelphia. Again, she was a white lady, but she had turned to a life of terrorism and acquired a cute Arab-sounding nickname. That I had been near these activities three times now was beginning to concern me. The fact that two of the wrongdoers were white people gave me a bit of relief. I was keeping score: White people: 2, Middle Easterners: 1.

It didn’t end there. A few months later, I was performing at Carolines on Broadway in New York City. One night the cab I was taking to the club had trouble getting me there because of heavy traffic, so I got out and walked. We did our first show and afterward one of the opening acts tried to leave the area. He came back telling us that Times Square had been shut down because of terrorist activity. We turned on the TV to see reports of a Pakistani male who had parked a car in Times Square in an attempt to blow it up. This was the fourth time I was in the vicinity where terrorist activity took place.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.